Spontoon Island
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12 September 2007
| "Valentines Dazed"
by E.O. Costello, M. Mitchell Marmel, & Walter D. Reimer All characters: rights reserved by their respective creators Chapter 4 All of the invitations had been R.S.V.P.'d, and I was in the middle of packing my overnight bag, when Willow came to the door of my bedroom, wearing a subtle and demure smirk. She seemed to have recovered from her breakfast trance. "You have a visitor." "Who is it?" "Guess." I wasn't in the mood for playing "20 Questions," and informed Willow rather crisply of this fact. She merely twitched her ears, and smiled slyly, shrugging her shoulders. She stepped aside and out of sight, as Inocenta bounded in, looking bright-eyed and bushy-flagged. My jaw dropped. She was wearing a very well-tailored stewardess' outfit. *Very* well tailored. Seeing my reactions (both physical and mental) only made Inocenta even happier. "You like, yes? Mami make this for Inocenta! She know you someday take Inocenta and ride her in the aeroplane, so! Here is the Panini-Nimitzie outfit for the Leslie-puppy!" I hoped to God that Willow wasn't overhearing this, and that she'd gone to another part of the suite and closed the door. And maybe turned up the volume on the radio. "We play "Layover," si?" "We play wha?" "Si! "Layover." Inocenta come, and lay over her Leslie-puppy and...!" It was only with a great deal of difficulty that I convinced Inocenta that it would be better to save the "game" for Honolulu. She looked briefly disappointed, and then a lasting look of craftiness came over her. "Ooooooh! Inocenta understand. The Leslie-puppy is very smart, yes! He want Inocenta to make the game much longer, lasting the injury time." Frankly, from what I gathered, the concept of "injury time" might be better suited for Baron von Kojote, but I let that pass. Inocenta put a finger to her nose, gave a long, suggestive wink, turned around, flicked her flag at me, and trotted off. *****
Somewhat surprisingly, the next development came not from Inocenta, her daddy, or the Baron, but from the Althing... A letter was paw-delivered to me-fresh from the red-tape mills of Meeting Island. "Ministry of Public Works, Transportation and Aviation Division, Safety Sub-Division," I murmured to myself. Didn't think you'd be able to put that many divisions on Meeting Island without having a desk sitting on the ocean floor. I shrugged and tore the envelope open: "10 January 1937 Mr. Leslie duCleds c/o Marleybone Grand Hotel Casino Island Re: Accident Investigation 36-729 (M/V "Cheer Up!") Accident Investigation 36-730 (A/C crash, Eastern Island) Dear Mr. duCleds: This office has opened an investigation into an incident that occurred on the evening of December 24, 1936, in which the M/V "Cheer Up!" was operating in Spontoon waters, carrying a cargo of pineapple brandy, when it was allegedly struck by an object that triggered a fire, and a series of explosions as the cargo caught fire. This resulted into the total destruction of both vessel and cargo, though, mercifully, no loss of life or serious injury." (Aw, CRAP.) "This office has also opened an investigation into the crash of an aeroplane that occurred on the evening of December 24, 1936, in which a plane, while attempting a landing at the Eastern Island aeroport, struck an object on the runway, causing equipment failure and the subsequent crash of the aeroplane, though no fatalities or serious injury." (Aw, DOUBLE CRAP!) A preliminary investigation by this office has determined that you may have information that would prove useful in the investigation of both of these incidents. Accordingly, you are hereby summoned to a hearing on 2 February 1937, at 0900 hours, at the offices of the Spontoon Transportation Safety Board, 7 Church Lane (a few doors from St. Anthony's Roman Catholic Church). You are required to bring all documentation relating to your knowledge of the aforementioned incidents, and you should be prepared to testify under oath as to the aforementioned incidents." (Lovely. Sigh.) "Please be advised that your authorization to operate aircraft within the Spontoon Island Independencies is hereby suspended until 5 February 1937, at which time your authorization may be restored, or revoked." (@*&^%*&^%^%$@^%%^!!!) "If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact any of the undersigned at this office. Sincerely yours, Maxwell Tuxedo, Chairman Phineas T. Whooper-Swann, Vice Chairman Chumley Tuske, Recording Secretary Spontoon Transportation Safety Board" Unprintable, unprintable, un-PRIN-TA-BLE! Between idiot deer, idiot gulls and idiot bureaucrats (okay, that's redundant, but I was upset), it looked like I was in for it. I mean, I could get Reggie (such as he was) to give testimony, but there was no way I could get The Gull to give testimony. I didn't even know which gull was The Gull. They all look alike to me. And I kinda doubted they'd be inclined to help, in any event. My gloom was interrupted by a telephone call. "Allllllooooooooo!" No prizes for guessing who this was. Couldn't help but grin, anyhow. "What's up, Cupcake?" "Papi go to the Honolulu today, Leslie-puppy. He no back for the day or so." "Well, I...what's he doing there?" "Pouf! Inocenta know not. Inocenta think Papi, he make the business. All boring for Inocenta. Lot is boring for Inocenta, at the presently. Mami say she go shopping all the day." Long, significant pause. "All the day. She say to Inocenta to keep out of the trouble." "Unh-hunh..." "So! Inocenta need the fawn-sitter to make sure that Inocenta no get naughty, yes?" "Errrrr..." ".....Maaaaami leave the cooky and the milkie in the friiiiiiidge." About five more minutes of this passed before I agreed to fawn-sit Inocenta. Senora de Ciervos must have found some very interesting stores, since she was out not only all day, but all night as well. next |